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Other (Accountancy jokes):
Accountancy jokes
Here is a selection of our favourite accountancy jokes: -
Q: What is the definition of an accountant?
A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
Q: What is the definition of a good tax accountant?
A: Someone who has a loophole named after them.
Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?
A: Because he looked in the file and that is what they did last year.
Q: What is the definition of an extrovert accountant?
A: One who looks at your shoes whilst he is talking to you instead of his own.
Q: What is the definition of an actuary?
A: Someone who found accountancy too exciting.
Q: What is the definition of an insolvency practitioner?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets the wounded.
Q: What is the definition of a financial advisor?
A: Someone who keeps investing your money until it has all gone.
Q: What does an accountant use for birth control?
A: His personality.
Q: Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
A: The accountant knows he is boring.
Q: How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many did it take last year?
Q: How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two – one to change the bulb and one to check it was done within budget
An accountant visited the Natural History Museum. While standing looking at a dinosaur he said to his friend "This dinosaur is three billion years and nine months old".
"How can you be so precise?" said his friend.
"I was here nine months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur was three billion years old."
An accountant was having difficulty sleeping and went to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just cannot get to sleep at night".
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then I spend three hours trying to find it."
And finally..... There are three types of accountant in the world, those who can count and those who can't.
If you have any accountancy jokes then email them to us and if we like them we will add them to this page.
