Accountancy Jokes

Accountancy Joke 1

Q: What is the definition of an accountant?

A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Accountancy Joke 2

Q: What is the definition of a good tax accountant?

A: Someone who has a loophole named after them.

Accountancy Joke 3

Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?

A: Because he looked in the file and that is what they did last year.

Accountancy Joke 4

Q: What is the definition of an extrovert accountant?

A: One who looks at your shoes whilst he is talking to you instead of his own.

Accountancy Joke 5

Q: What is the definition of an actuary?

A: Someone who found accountancy too exciting.

Accountancy Joke 6

Q: What is the definition of an insolvency practitioner?

A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets the wounded.

Accountancy Joke 7

Q: What is the definition of a financial advisor?

A: Someone who keeps investing your money until it has all gone.

Accountancy Joke 8

Q: What does an accountant use for birth control?

A: His personality.

Accountancy Joke 9

Q: Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

A: He worked it out with a pencil.

Accountancy Joke 10

Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

A: The accountant knows he is boring.

Accountancy Joke 11

Q: How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

A: How many did it take last year?

Accountancy Joke 12

Q: How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two – one to change the bulb and one to check it was done within budget

Accountancy Joke 13

An accountant visited the Natural History Museum. While standing looking at a dinosaur he said to his friend "This dinosaur is three billion years and nine months old".

"How can you be so precise?" said his friend.

"I was here nine months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur was three billion years old."

Accountancy Joke 14

An accountant was having difficulty sleeping and went to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just cannot get to sleep at night".

"Have you tried counting sheep?"

"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then I spend three hours trying to find it."